Mama Rant

So full of love and gratitude, I am humbled each and every day by this monumental experience. Being a mother is amazing – it’s true.  Some say having children is what makes one complete – and I would have to concur; But still, my insecurities are at times paramount, and I wonder why?  Why am I putting too much pressure on myself?  Now that I’ve become a mother and joined the ranks of those who have learned what it’s like to care for and love something unconditionally, I am wondering if I am good enough. How can I feel so balanced, yet so out of my element at the same time?  Underneath, deep inside,  I wonder if I am capable enough to be a great mom and partner while holding on to my goals of being a great activist, artist , friend, community member, and collectively minded individual.  Yes individual.  Is it even possible? No one is judging right?   But why do I feel like I’ve been written off by the general populous as “useless” in the world unless that is, I am tending to diapers or crying babies? Maybe this is my own insecurity?  Am I projecting?  Is it just those damn hormones? 

All I can do is my best. And I will. Now, more than ever, is the time I have to explore who I am. To live in the moment and think about what’s next.  Parenthood  is next level existence, and it’s exciting to think about how I can become a better person. More creative,  more loving, more understanding, more adventurous and fun. Less selfish.  This is a good opportunity no doubt to really change my life and how I live it.  I now have a really good reason to live life even fuller! 

I have finally accepted dub time.  I’m ok with taking things slow, rather than my usual dive-in approach. I’ve surrendered to the cosmos, where “letting go” is what creates magic for me. A spark of life revived. Rushing only frustrates. I’ve likewise accepted the feeling of being overwhelmed.  In fact, there is something exciting about it.  I believe I am doing very important work raising a little human.  An individual who has already begun shaping the future  from the moment she was born.  In saying this, I challenge mothers everywhere to step it up.  Don’t allow yourself to be predisposed as otherwise “occupied”. Be proud and confident.  Share knowledge and resources.  What we are learning as mothers is timeless.